Victor's gaze fell on the book on the desk, and his eyes darkened. "A person can only live in the present. A decade or so in a history book is just a few lines of text, but for the ordinary people living through it, that could be hell on earth. The Su Army will become traitors. Now that I know, I can't just sit by—I have to strangle this threat before it materializes."
I fell silent, tears falling without a sound.
"Rose, heaven has given me so many chances—to live so many times, to start over so many times. I have to do more that matters, even if it's just for ten years, so people can have ten years of peace."
He pulled me onto the desk by my waist and gently wiped my tears away.
"Besides, I refuse to accept my fate. Some things, if I act early, if I take the initiative—while the southern forces encircling me aren't yet ready—maybe I can change something. Even if I can't, I've prepared your way out, Rose. I won't let you suffer."
He was pulling everything forward by two years. Could he really change history, as he said?
His logic was clear. He always had so many reasons. I couldn't argue him down. "My way out can't not include you. I'm not afraid of hardship. Victor, can you just look after me? I need you too..."
His eyes grew warmer with amusement, as though watching a child throw a tantrum—letting her finish, then reasoning with her gently.
So I offered an alternative solution: "If you have to go, take me with you. If you get hit by a stray bullet, I'll go back with you. At least I'd be there—someone to wash and change your clothes, someone to make you a hot meal..."
Victor stroked my shoulders, trying to calm me down, but I truly couldn't calm down.
"If we're unlucky and it's the last time, the two of us will die together. Our flesh and bones will merge into one, and we'll only be buried together. Ten thousand years from now we'll become fossils in a museum, and people will point and laugh—look, two idiots who could have lived perfectly good lives but chose to die together!"
Victor held me, letting me pour it out. I cried until I had no strength left.
I reached for the ring on my finger, about to pull it off.
Victor grabbed my hand at once. "Rose..."
"I'm taking it back. You can give it to me again when you return. Until then, I'm going on dates with other men."
His grip tightened. He tilted my face toward him, a cold edge in his eyes. "Don't say things you don't mean."
"You promised you wouldn't leave me for a single second. You're allowed to break your promise, but I'm not allowed to change my mind?"
He wouldn't let me say another word. He sealed my breakdown with a kiss.
"Rose, this is the last time. I will win. Just one month. When I come back, we'll have the wedding..."
He nuzzled my hairline, his voice dropping lower and lower. "From now on your man will be a turtle hiding in his shell beside you, okay?"
I cupped his face, studying him through my tears. "Really?"
His eyes were deep and dark. He pressed his lips gently to mine once more. "Really."
Reason told me his words were half-truths, but I was grateful he was willing to coax me. The blockage in my chest did ease.
His lips moved down, grazing my neck.
His heavy breathing was like a catalyst, making the air around us thick and heated. Before I could process what was happening, he'd already slipped off my shawl and unbuttoned my blouse, pressing kiss after kiss downward, leaving marks on my skin with insatiable greed.
"I'll be gone for a month, Rose. I'll miss you terribly."
His voice was pure provocation. His palm kneaded my skin, stirring a mix of pain and ticklish desire.
Yet while I was half-undressed, he remained impeccably clothed.
He pressed me against the desk, kissing me, the buttons of his uniform digging painfully into my skin.
I lost myself in the sensation, slowly filled by him, carried off to an uninhabited land, forgetting why I'd come.
I could only murmur, "Then you'd better come back soon."
7.
I returned to the General's Estate with swollen eyes, following Grace.
Thus began the days of watching the sky, waiting and counting.
At first, there were still telegrams coming back. Then the news grew slower and slower.
I had so many dreams. I dreamed of Victor being blown to pieces by a bomb.
The dreams were so vivid that I woke up screaming night after night.
Grace worried about them just as much, but even pregnant she was calmer than I was.
I admired her composure. Her husband and brother were both on the front lines, and she could still read every day, steady and collected.
Until the Beiyang government issued a telegram condemning Victor for provocatively instigating conflict. Neighboring warlords, to protect their own territories, had formed alliances and joined with the Su Army to create a triangular encirclement. The war had escalated.
She placed her hand over mine.
Only then did I realize her hands were colder than mine.
On the very day Victor's promised one month was up, I dreamed of him again.
In the dream, Victor was covered in wounds, collapsing in my arms, down to his last breath.
"Rose, you are the endpoint I can see. When I see you, everything feels meaningful."
"I regret it. I shouldn't have been so selfish. I shouldn't have brought you back. We're two different fates. I know there will be peace a hundred years from now, and that should be enough. But I claimed your whole life."
"Can I still take you back? Can I still make it right?"
His eyes slowly dimmed. A single tear rolled from the corner of his unclosed eye.
"Rose, what a pity. My good luck has run out. This is the last time."
His once-powerful hand slipped from my arm.
"Victor!" I threw my arms around his neck, calling out to him desperately.
But he wouldn't wake.
More bombs fell, terrifyingly close.
After I woke, I couldn't fall back asleep.
At dawn, a telegram arrived from the front lines: major victory, they'd be back soon.
The message was terse. It wasn't Victor's voice.
My eyelids kept twitching. The scenes from my dream played over and over. I said, "Since we won, I want to go meet him."
Grace's fingers tightened. Her face was bloodless. She bit her lip.
"You can't. It's too dangerous outside. If something happened to you by the time Victor comes back, what then?"
The more I thought about it, the more wrong it felt. So that night, I sneaked out to the courtyard without telling Grace.
I started the car and drove toward the garrison.
The garrison was their first stop on the way back.
I waited there for three days, suffering through three days of nightmares.
Finally, I couldn't bear it anymore. I drove north alone, praying that everything in my dreams was false, that the reverse would come true...
I didn't know my destination. I drove one stretch, asked one stretch.
When the car died, I walked on foot.
Wave after wave of heart-pounding fear—the further north I went, the heavier the smell of gunpowder.
Just before my strength gave out entirely, I spotted a sentry post in the distance. Before I could even approach, several soldiers tackled me to the ground.
"Where'd this spy come from?"
I saw their uniforms—same style as Victor's—and my heart settled.
"I'm Victor Vane's fiancée. I visited the garrison over a month ago..."
"We've only seen Miss Vane."
Ah... right.
That day I hadn't gone with the visiting party. They wouldn't have recognized me—of course.
Seeing me fall silent, they decided to play it safe. They tied me up and stuffed a cloth gag in my mouth.
"Wait until the Young General gets back."