We gradually learned some patterns. The aliens functioned more like a highly centralized biological intelligence. Without orders from the mothership, the saucers would go into standby, hovering around it. This was their only vulnerability. We couldn't face them head-on, but surprise attacks worked repeatedly.
In the deep winter of 1999, I followed the Qingliu No. 1 High School unit to Nanjing. By then there were few regular troops left. The bulk of the forces were young students and street youth. Unit designations were mostly named after schools — things like the Foreign Languages Affiliated Middle School Iron Blood Division, or the Qingliu No. 1 High School Mess Squad. In some of the fiercest battles, entire schools were wiped out, with only two English class representatives surviving.
In Nanjing, we held a meeting. Every unit that could still fight showed up. Sophie and I were there too.
Drake said, "Nobody wants to fight. Everyone's scared."
I said, "Last month they occupied the Northeast and started promoting alien culture. The young people there are calling themselves second-class citizens..."
Drake slammed the table, cutting me off. "I said strategic retreat, do you understand?! How do you think the comrades enduring humiliation feel? Do you want our fighters behind enemy lines to bleed and shed tears? Are you even human?"
The commanders all glared at me. "Do you want a court-martial?"
I panicked. "Guys, come on. I was talking about the cultural invasion. Aren't we discussing how to counterattack? Cultural resistance is still resistance."
"So why bring up a specific place?"
"Who are you calling second-class citizens?"
"My mistake, I'm the second-class citizen here..."
"Get out!"
"Where's my gun?! Bring me my gun!"
I was almost beaten out of the room.
"Everyone shut up!" Sophie slapped the table. "I know you all mean well, but here's the important thing — right now their cultural program is still a pilot. They occupy so much territory, it's only a matter of time before they roll it out everywhere. If we don't go all in now, it's planetary extinction!"
Everyone finally stopped arguing.
It was time to pledge ourselves to the planet.
"For the planet!" everyone shouted indignantly.
"The planet is going to get itself killed by you idiots sooner or later," Sophie said, exasperated.
I said, "The key question is, how do we fight this battle?"
Drake said, "The mothership is now hovering over Nanjing. We've prepared fighters and missiles. We'll launch a night raid tomorrow evening."
He said, "The mothership has a fog shield. We have to use suicide ramming with the fighters."
I said, "How much time to eject?"
He said, "Three seconds."
Everyone went silent. I imagined the fighters tearing through the fog, like tearing open a road to heaven.
It would be a screaming heaven.
05
The meeting ended. Drake gave me a quick nod and hurried off. That jerk had done well for himself — he was now the interim wartime commander.
Sophie and I walked slowly through the city of Nanjing.
The weather was clear, but we knew that far above, invisible to the naked eye, countless saucers were circling.
I called my mom. She'd gone back to the countryside early to take shelter. She told me everything in the countryside was fine — nice air, and the neighbors were friendly.
She also asked when I'd come visit her.
I said, "I'm in Nanjing, can't get away. After this battle, I'll come back and retire."
My mom said, "Bring Sophie back with you. I miss her."
I said, "Oh, looking to adopt a daughter, are we?"
"Girls can wait when they're young," my mom said with a meaningful smile. "But don't make her wait too long."
I said, "I know, I know. So nagging."
I hung up, feeling empty inside. Mom probably didn't know this was the final battle. Either all of humanity goes home to their respective mothers, or — boom — Earth is destroyed, and the ones on this side of the Pacific go see Buddha while the ones on the other side go see God.
Sophie and I walked along the street. She suddenly said, "Do you ever get the feeling..."
I said, "Hmm?"
"That we grew up overnight."
I said, "Yeah."
I looked up. Nanjing was fortified with massive defenses. Soldiers stood resolute, but their faces were so young. Not long ago, these same people were studying in classrooms. The chaos of 1999 had forced us to grow up too fast.
Growing up always means tearing something apart, doesn't it?
Later, we walked to a crumbling old city wall. Sophie climbed up and sat on top of it.
She said, "We've been fighting all this time, and I've never even been in love."
I said, "Me neither. Do you have someone you like?"
She said, "Yeah. A fool."
I said, "That's rough. A loser?"
She nodded. "A total loser."
She sat on the wall, swinging her legs, watching the sunset in the distance.
I thought about it. The biggest loser — fuck, that had to be our commander Drake. I felt a little annoyed. Was I actually jealous? I said, "If you have something to say, I can pass it along for you."
She thought for a moment, then said, "Tomorrow. Write it down and give it to him for me."
06
The evening of the next day came quickly.
Sophie and I were assigned to the same fighter. We put on our combat suits.
I walked to the assembly point and jumped.
I said, "Sophie, you washed your hair before going out to kill people?"
Sophie had just showered. Her hair hung loose, waiting to air-dry. She said, "You never stop talking — oh, and here's the note. It's all yours."
I opened it. The entire sheet of paper was black.
I said, "Impressive. Not even the CIA could decode your love letter."
She said, "Drop dead. It's just shaded with pencil. You can erase it with a rubber."
I nodded. Alright then, Drake, time is tight, so I'll be the custodian of your love letter. A bugle call sounded in the distance. It was time to launch.
Sophie had tied her hair into a clean ponytail. She still smelled of shampoo.
This was the evening of December 31, 1999. Years later, whenever I recall that evening, I can still smell jasmine in my nose.
07
The fighter shut down its main engines and climbed slowly into the night sky.
I looked out the window. We were already very high. Below, thousands of fighters had taken off. The view from up here was breathtaking.
Sophie said, "Reminds me of high school."
I said, "Hmm?"
She said, "We were in the same class. You never did your homework, always copied mine. Then we both got caught and had to stand at the front of the classroom as punishment. Kind of like now, isn't it?"
I said, "It really is."
We both fell silent after that. I knew this was a one-way trip. She sat in the pilot's seat, and the weight on her mind was far heavier than mine.
The fighter evaded the intercepting saucers. The mothership was still some distance away. Beyond this point was the safe zone. Pass through the fog ahead, and we'd see the mothership's true form. I really wanted to take a selfie with it. Maybe write "was here" on it too?
No telling if there were alien code enforcement officers.
I kept telling Sophie lame jokes, one after another. She stayed mostly quiet, occasionally smiling.
I suddenly remembered — a few summers ago, it was like this too. I'd gotten into college, she hadn't. She drove me to the city. I asked, "Where'd you get the car?" She said, "My dad's jeep, snuck it out."
On the road, I joked around, and she ignored me. Failing the exam would put anyone in a bad mood, I figured. Then she turned on the radio, and The Cranberries' "Never Grow Old" was playing.
I had a dream, strange it may seem, I realize this is my perfect day...
I hope you'll never grow old, forever young...
I suddenly wanted to ask her — what if I don't go to school, and you don't go home, and we just keep driving down this road forever?
To where?
I didn't know either.
I told Sophie this idea. She finally laughed. "How old are you? Still haven't grown up, my little boy?"
Screw you. I'm full of youthful passion, alright? The Americans used "Little Boy" to blow up Hiroshima. Unlike some people who make buns all day like a bun-shop auntie.
Actually, what I really wanted to ask that day was — had she ever thought about just being with me? I wanted to say, Sophie, you're not getting any younger and I just turned eighteen, why don't we give it a try? Then Mom wouldn't worry about me finding a wife, and your dad wouldn't worry about you staying single.
Sure, sure, I get it. We've known each other since we were kids, it'd be kind of awkward to date.
The drama played out in my head while my face stayed perfectly calm. We sat in silence as the jeep crept down the road.
08
"Do you think we'll win?" Sophie asked suddenly, inside the fighter.
I said, "Probably. The brave Earth warriors defeat the alien overlord — that's how it goes in the movies."
She said, "If we win... it means the mothership went down, right?"
I said, "I suppose so."
I closed my eyes, and the image of the mothership exploding into fireworks appeared before me. Strangely — maybe it was the weightlessness at high altitude — we both saw the same vision.
Sophie said, "Fireworks... they're so beautiful."
I said, "If the war ends, what do you want to do?"
She said, "Sell buns, live like an ordinary person."
She said, "You?"
I thought for a moment. "I'll work at your bun shop. My mom told me to marry you."