He stared at me with a confused look, not knowing what I was doing.
I didn't explain either. Explain what—that I peeked at his score and felt bad so I patted his shoulder?!
No way was I doing something like that.
The two of us just stared at each other.
Those innocent eyes just blinked blankly at me.
Making me look like the evil female antagonist.
My scalp went tingly, and I felt my ears turn red from being looked at.
It was awkward. Finally I couldn't take it anymore.
I dropped a "You scored really low" and hastily turned my head away, not looking at him anymore.
The moment I said it, I started regretting it.
Talk about nailing down my character—out of everything I could've said, I had to say that.
Great, what if this chubby kid starts crying because of me?
So annoying!
I clutched my head with both hands, annoyed at myself for always saying such dumb things.
Couldn't I have just said nothing at all?!
Did I have to say it? Did I have to?
While my brain was a mess of tangled lines, the chubby kid spoke up.
"It was a bit low. I'll probably get lectured at home again."
I stopped scratching my head and looked at him in surprise.
He picked up his report card and smiled at me a little sheepishly.
Before I could say anything, he spoke again: "I heard from others that you got first place. That's really impressive."
His voice was soft—maybe because he hadn't hit puberty yet, it had that quality that sounded immediately pleasant and soothing.
Those clear eyes held nothing but sincerity.
I just sat there, dumbfounded, not knowing what to say.
That night, I tossed and turned in bed, unable to fall asleep no matter what.
The moment I closed my eyes, I could see those eyes of the chubby kid.
Those battered, crushed eyes.
The more I thought about it, the more I felt my conscience being fiercely condemned.
Seriously, it's not like I peeked on purpose.
And it's not like I meant to say something so hurtful out loud.
Dammit! I sat bolt upright in bed.
Threw my head back and yelled.
"I'm such a terrible person!"
The next day I showed up at the classroom with dark circles under my eyes, backpack in tow.
Before I could drag my exhausted steps to my seat.
I saw several boys crowded around the seat next to me.
The chubby kid seemed like he was being held down.
I instantly snapped awake.
Quickly walked over to my seat.
Before I even got close, I heard.
One of the boys crowding around the chubby kid say: "Just lend me 100 bucks, what's the big deal?"
I knew this shameless guy.
Word was he was a lackey of Old Five from the South Gate.
"South Gate Old Five"—what a janky ranking. They put out these illegal leaderboard things every day.
He'd been wreaking havoc since starting middle school.
Wore a pair of red bean-shaped shoes.
Didn't wear uniform pants—wore black skinny jeans instead.
The ankles of those pants were black with grime.
Like he didn't bathe.
Acted like the edgiest person alive every day, acting as if the whole world should bow to him.
Thought knowing a few older troublemakers with connections made him untouchable.
Every day after school you could see them hanging out at the milk tea shop across the street.
Dyed hair in every color, extorting people in dark corners for fun.
On the faces of his friends, I couldn't see a single trace of humanity.
The girls bared every inch of skin they could use to titillate, trading their bodies as bargaining chips for their so-called status. The boys flexed about how many people they'd beaten up and how much money they'd stolen.
This exact group somehow had countless middle school students idolizing and imitating them.
These people ran roughshod through the school, bullying whoever they pleased.
Whenever someone didn't do what they wanted, they'd drag them into the basement of an apartment building and beat them senseless.
They were tough to shake off. These people weren't afraid of getting caught by the police either. They counted on being underage and therefore un-incarceratable—treating getting arrested as a badge of honor, thinking it made them loyal.
The more I thought about it, the more disgusted I felt. These subhuman scumbags—pulling their usual act was bad enough, but actually extorting people?!
I stormed over to my seat, slammed my bag on the desk with a huge bang.
I grabbed the broom from the back of the classroom and gripped it.
Walked straight up to the three boys surrounding the chubby kid and shouted.
"Can you freaking stop already? Get away from him, you're in my way—I'm trying to study!"
I was actually still a bit scared.
Because those thugs really didn't play by any rules.
I didn't know if this would scare them off.
I could even feel my palms sweating already.
But I still scowled and glared at the three of them.
Maybe it was because more and more people were watching.
They didn't want to make things worse either.
Eventually they shot me several dirty looks, muttered some insults, and walked away.
After the three left, I felt like I'd come back to life.
My back was drenched in cold sweat.
I dropped the broom and plopped down in my seat.
Still a bit shaken up.
If it had actually come to a fight, I definitely would've gotten killed.
I'd been too reckless.
I sat there, staring at the sweat in my palms, spacing out.
Then, a chubby hand reached out from beside me, offering a few sheets of tissue paper.
I took the tissues, only then remembering the chubby kid next to me.
I looked up at him. He was giving me starry-eyed admiration, his expression full of gratitude.
I'd just snapped out of my near-assault daze, so I gave him a look that said, "See? I'm just that awesome."
First period was Chinese class.
The teacher told us to read the full text silently.
I held up my textbook, bored, reading line after line.
Then I felt the touch of paper on my right side.
I turned to look.
The chubby kid was sneakily placing a small folded note on the corner of my desk.
I picked it up and read.
"Thank you!"
The handwriting was crooked and messy.
Just like his shirt buttons.
I couldn't help but curve my lips.
Then immediately pressed them back down, burying my face behind my upright textbook.
3
After school.
I was still dawdling, not wanting to go outside.
After ticking off those people today.
Who knew if their thug friends were waiting at the school gate to get back at me.
Going to the teacher wouldn't help now.
I leaned against the doorframe, not wanting to step out.
Not knowing what to do.
My mom and dad didn't have time to pick me up after school.
I shouldn't have helped that chubby kid.
Now I'd gotten myself into this huge mess.
I kicked a small stone at my feet.
Standing there, depressed.
Someone poked me a few times.
I turned around impatiently.
"Who is it? I'm in a bad mood."
I turned around and saw it was the chubby kid.
He was about my height.
Fair-skinned, chubby—on the plumpish side, but his features were actually decent.
Just that his facial features looked a bit squeezed together.
Seeing it was him, I softened my tone.
"Oh, it's you. What's up?"
The chubby kid gripped his backpack straps.
"Qian Duolai, let's walk together. My dad's waiting outside, he can give you a ride home."
Before he even finished, I blurted out: "No way."
Of course not.
Meeting a classmate's parent would be so embarrassing.
They'd see I wasn't dressed well and go home and mock me for being shabby.
Tell their kid not to hang out with me.
This wasn't the first time something like that had happened.
I pursed my lips: "I'm not walking with you. I'll walk by myself."
I turned and tossed back over my shoulder.
"Bye!"
Then I scurried away.
I didn't dare look at what expression he had.
Disappointed? Sad? Downcast? Despondent? Blank?
My mind raced with random thoughts as I reached the school gate.
I sighed, and just as I stepped outside.
I felt someone staring at me.
I shot a quick glance with my peripheral vision.
Oh no.
It was those three, plus a girl.
Short hair, not in uniform, wearing heavy makeup.
She did not look like someone to mess with.
Wasn't that their leader, Old Five's girlfriend from the South Gate?!
I stiffly dragged my feet.
I could clearly see them moving in my direction.
I didn't care about anything anymore—my legs started moving faster and faster.
Eventually I broke into a full sprint.
And they chased after me too.
Suddenly a hand slapped me on the shoulder from behind.
I jumped like a cat whose tail had been stepped on, my whole body giving a jolt.
I trembled slightly.
"Wha... what do you want? This is a society governed by law, you know!"
A familiar voice came from behind me.
"Qian Duolai, don't be scared. Let's walk together."
That soft voice drifted into my ears, carrying an oddly soothing quality.
Without realizing it, I felt a subtle sense of reassurance.
My racing heart slowly settled.
It was still November.
The northern winter still blew biting winds.
Rolling up fallen leaves that scraped against the curb with a scratching sound.
The baked sweet potato cart by the street was covered with a quilt, but hot steam still escaped from underneath.
The vendor would lift the cover every now and then, pulling out one fragrant sweet potato after another like magic.
It had been a while since school let out, with only a few scattered students still lingering outside.
My face was red from the cold, my hands awkwardly stuffed in my pockets.
The chubby kid bought two sweet potatoes, holding them steaming hot.
We walked side by side, neither of us saying a word.
Suddenly a hand reached in front of me again, this time holding out a large sweet potato.
In winter, it always got dark so early.
Sometimes so early that even the streetlamps hadn't started their shift yet.
The moon wasn't on duty either.